


Kiss

by BonusMeme



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cheesiness galore, Confessions through subtext, Discussions of Human customs, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Holographic James Bond, Literature Discussions, M/M, My first Garashir Fic, One Shot, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonusMeme/pseuds/BonusMeme
Summary: Julian is surprised to learn that kissing isn't part of Cardassian culture. Garak suggests a demonstration might help him better understand the Human custom.





	Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place sometime during season 3.

It was a typical lunch with Garak: a lively debate about Shakespeare’s literary merits over warm cups of plomeek soup and tarkalean tea. Feeling a little drowsy from his usual sleep deprivation, Julian allowed his companion to rant about the “inane” plot of _Romeo and Juliet_ for a little longer than he usually did, content to sip his soup and form rebuttals until he was ready to counter.

Naturally, he was sipping on a large spoonful of soup when Garak’s words surprised him.

“…And again this Human gesture of affection called “kissing” baffles me! Why Humans put such an emphasis on it in their literature is beyond my comprehension. Why, the very concept alone makes hardly any sense –”

Julian coughed as he struggled to keep his soup down. “Cardassians don’t kiss?” he asked with more surprise than there should have been.

“No, Doctor,” Garak replied, blinking at him as if his question had been very stupid. “We have ways to show romantic attraction, but none involve the lips. What a strange body part to press against another. And to be so revered in literature! It seems to be celebrated as much as intercourse itself! Really, Doctor, you Humans do pride yourselves on peculiar things.”

The lack of kissing in Cardassian culture shouldn’t have surprised him all that much. Many alien species had diverse ways of showing affection, and he didn’t see Cardassians as a very outwardly romantic people. None of the literature he had read portrayed them as such. But many species that had enough contact with the Federation adopted the practice, including the Bajorans, so he never considered kissing a uniquely Human concept. He couldn’t recall a single person he had been with that hadn’t enjoyed it, even if it wasn’t a part of their customs. They at least seemed familiar with the concept. But here was Garak, seemingly baffled by the thought of two pursed lips pressed against each other. This must be another of his lies; but why he would feel the need to lie about such a thing, Julian had no idea.

It was a strange question, but it came out before he could think. “Have you never kissed anyone, Garak?”

“No,” Garak answered simply. If he was surprised by the personal nature of the question, his eyes didn’t show it.

Julian tried to ignore the reddening of his cheeks, realizing this was the most personal their conversations had ever gotten. But the Cardassian before him appeared as serene as if they were discussing the trousers he had hemmed that morning. There wasn’t a hint of mischief in his eyes. It seemed that as soon as Julian finally came to terms with his feelings for Garak, Garak stopped pursuing him. No more sultry looks that made Julian feel like he was about to be devoured. Hardly any flirtation at all!

And Garak’s answer itself seemed doubtful…had he never been with a Human or another kissing species before? The man was probably around fifty years old, and Julian doubted anyone could live half a century without experiencing at least one kiss…or was that his Federation superiority complex showing?

“Well surely you’ve at least seen kissing before?”

“I have not,” Garak answered, pausing for a sip of tea. “My only encounter with the concept has been in these Human plays and novels you keep insisting are art.”

Julian rolled his eyes at that, doubting he could ever persuade Garak on the merits of Human literature. He let it slide this time, finding Garak’s other point more interesting, and also highly unlikely. “You’re joking! How can you have lived on DS9 for all these years without seeing anyone kiss? I just saw two Bajorans kiss on the Promenade this morning! And then there was Jadzia and Captain Boday yesterday at Quark’s…”

“I’m afraid I don’t get out as much as you, Doctor. Most of my days are spent cooped up in my little shop, hemming trousers or designing the occasional wedding gown.” Garak sounded almost sad, lowering his head a touch.

Julian didn’t buy a word of it. As he eyed Garak suspiciously, he thought perhaps he was wrong. Maybe Garak’s interest in him hadn’t ceased and this was a new way of flirting. It would be just like him to bring up a topic that he knew Julian had much experience in, and that was sure to redden his cheeks. Because of course Julian had sometimes wondered what it would be like to…

“Is it really as enjoyable as the poets claim?” Garak was a picture of innocence as he titled his head curiously.

Julian’s mouth felt suddenly dry, but he tried to remain calm. Of course his best efforts were probably useless with those perceptive blue eyes boring into his face, but he could at least try. What was Garak playing at? “Well, yes, I suppose it is,” he replied, swirling his soup with his spoon. “Of course not all Humans enjoy it so very much, but I always have.”

But of course Garak wasn’t satisfied to leave it there. “Ah, are the lips some sort of erogenous zone in Humans then?”

Julian stopped his spoon halfway up to his mouth and wisely returned it to the bowl. The last thing he needed right now was to choke. Brilliant, now they were discussing erogenous zones in the middle of the replimat. Fine, if that’s how the game was going to be played, then he might as well retaliate. “Yes, but I take it that’s not the case in Cardassians? Or do Cardassians just lack erogenous zones all together?”

“Oh, I can assure you, Doctor, we have them.”

A predatory glint! It lasted only a moment before Garak’s eyes returned to neutral, but Julian had definitely seen it. His heart began racing faster. He couldn’t help but glance down at Garak’s lips, and then the fantasies burst forth in his mind like a tidal wave. What would Garak’s lips taste like? Or feel like? Would they be warm? Cardassians were cold-blooded, so perhaps they wouldn’t be…” He didn’t even realize his tongue had dipped out to wet his lips. If Garak had seen it, he made no indication.

“So a simple press of the lips is enough to stimulate you Humans?” Garak asked, continuing the conversation before Julian could push back his fantasies. The Cardassian seemed unimpressed.

Blushing or not, he must make the correction that Garak seemed to be inviting him to make. “Well it’s not _just_ the lips, Garak. Depending on how intimate the encounter is, the tongue is usually involved as well.”

“The tongue?” Garak was overplaying his confusion. “Well that just complicates matters further.” He shook his head. “I just don’t see how I will be able to fully appreciate this literature you praise without a complete grasp of Human customs. Perhaps a demonstration would be beneficial?

 

* * *

 

They sat on a couch in the ritzy apartment of Julian’s favorite holoprogram, an Earth cityscape shimmering through the windows behind them. Soft saxophone music drifted out of a turntable. In the middle of the room stood a dashing dark-haired man in a black tuxedo, a role Julian usually liked to play himself when there weren’t curious Cardassians in the room. A buxom blonde was in the man’s arms, her glittery dress nearly blinding.

Julian had panicked. He had needed something to distract from what sounded suspiciously like a romantic invitation (but with Garak you could never be certain), and this was the first thing that had come to mind. Why he had sabotaged his first real chance with Garak was beyond him. But there they were, watching holograms snog when he knew he would much rather be kissing Garak.

He tried to observe the holograms with his scientific mind, to make this purely a lesson on Human cultural practices, but his burning cheeks and alarmingly tight pants made it difficult. His uniform concealed nothing, which mortified him, but all he could do was hope that if Garak noticed his dilemma downstairs, he would conclude that Julian was aroused by the two very attractive holograms in the room, not his relentless fantasies about exploring Garak’s mouth.

The silence between them just amplified his discomfort, so he coughed and said, “As you can see here, the man and woman are pressing their open mouths together. The lips are connected, but inside their tongues are fighting for dominance.” Damn, that was the sexiest thing he had ever said in his professional doctor voice.

“Ah, so that’s how it’s done,” Garak commented as if the secrets of the universe had been revealed to him. So the act was continuing.

“Contact between the two mouths causes the brain to release dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin,” Julian continued, trying to focus purely on the science of it. “Basically these hormones cause feelings of arousal and affection. Also, the swapping of saliva causes testosterone–”

The holographic couple broke apart at the moment, and before Julian could finish his sentence, the woman was out the door. Julian stared in confusion until a tall brunette walked through the door and into the man’s arms. _Oh._ This was how he had designed the program.

“That was odd. Was the first woman not adequate?” Garak asked as the hologram began to passionately kiss the brunette.

“No, it’s just how the program was designed,” Julian admitted, his cheeks turning redder than he thought possible. He hoped against all hope that Garak wouldn’t realize that this particular part of the program was designed specifically for Julian to live out his playboy fantasies. He couldn’t remember the last time he had used it, but it was still not something he wanted Garak to know about. At least his current embarrassment was taking care of the problem in his pants.

That answer seemed to satisfy Garak and they fell into silence again. After the holographic man had gotten enough kisses out of the brunette, he sent her on her way and she was replaced by another blonde, this one more petite but just as voluptuous. She was proceeded by a fiery redhead, then a dark-haired beauty came up to bat.

Julian’s gaze remained fixed ahead, but he hardly paid attention to the action anymore. His heart still pounded in his chest, but he was more miserable than aroused now. He sat as stiff as a board, taking care to prevent his thigh from brushing against Garak’s. Had they always been sitting this close?

A few more minutes, then he would end the program, and with it this whole embarrassing ordeal. Garak had certainly seen enough to satisfy his curiosity, if it was even genuine. Damn the man, was his whole intention in this scheme just to put Julian in one uncomfortable situation after another? Or was it to see how far he could pry?

“Is kissing usually done with so many different partners?” Garak asked, startling Julian out of his thoughts.

“It really depends on the person and what sort of relationship they prefer,” Julian replied carefully. He suspected Garak might be fishing for information on Julian’s sex life, and right now he was in no mood to reveal any more personal secrets. “Some people assign more value to the act than others. If the person is more sexually open, they’ll probably kiss many different partners in their life.”

Another new girl was in the hologram’s arms. “I take it he’s one of the latter,” Garak remarked, gesturing to the man.

Well, he might as well try to explain the holoprogram without revealing its entire intention. “He’s a character from Human literature, Garak. James Bond. A spy actually. He was supposed to have lived on Earth in the mid-twentieth century.”

“A spy?” Garak asked, eyes widening slightly. He contemplated the hologram for a moment before sweeping his eyes around the apartment. “Surely this elaborate lifestyle cannot be sanctioned by the State! It doesn’t exactly come across as inconspicuous.”

“His government supplies it all for him, actually,” Julian replied, feeling some of the tension leave his shoulders at the change of topic.

Garak turned back to admire the fine fabric of the curtains hanging behind them. “I think I joined the wrong intelligence service,” he muttered.

A smile played at Julian’s lips. “So you admit you’re a spy.”

Garak’s trademark mischievous smile had returned. “You’re reading too deeply into idle comments, my dear doctor.”

Julian relaxed back into the couch, hardly caring when his knee gently brushed Garak’s. Discussions of literature, that teasing back and forth on Garak’s past occupation – he was back in his element. The kissing holograms seemed to no longer affect him. “James Bond was famous for the amount of women he seduced,” he explained, resting his elbows back on the top of the couch. “Why, there must have been a hundred Bond girls, maybe more, throughout all the novels and movies.” He hoped Garak would ask what a movie was, and he could continue this harmless discussion of Earth culture, but Garak seemed more interested in returning to the previous subject.

“So many women! Personally that sounds a bit tedious, don’t you think, Doctor?” Garak asked, turning his gaze on Julian. “And you accused _The Never-Ending Sacrifice_ of being redundant.”

With Garak’s eyes on him, Julian felt his heartrate pick up again. “That was a common criticism of the character and series, actually,” he explained. “Some critics considered many of the female characters to be one-dimensional, only there to fulfil the protagonist’s desires.”

“I see.” Garak turned back to observe the character in question. “Just another argument to add to my case for Cardassian literature’s superiority. Our romantic novels chronicle the entire lives of each character and their selfless service to the State.”

Julian looked at Garak with a lopsided grin. “That’s because the romance is always between the character and the _State_ instead of the characters themselves.”

Garak scoffed but offered no retort.

Julian’s eyes fell on the brunette that was currently kissing the holographic James Bond. She looked quite like Jadzia, he now realized. Glancing back at Garak, he found the Cardassian gazing off into the distance, his expression pleasant but unreadable. Now was just as good a time as any to try to make sense of the thoughts that had been tormenting him for what felt like years. Maybe it had been years.

“I used to find characters like her intriguing for their beauty alone,” Julian commented, gesturing to the Bond girl. Then his gaze returned to Garak. “But now…well I’m not too sure anymore. I suppose some of them are a bit dull.”

Garak made no response except a dip of the chin, inviting him to elaborate.

Julian turned back to stare in front of him. If he was going to speak these thoughts aloud, better not let those piercing blue eyes fluster him. “Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older, but these sorts of characters are starting to seem less appealing to me. I’m finding myself desiring more than just a pretty face, more than just a brief moment of excitement…from a character, that is,” he added quickly. Drawing breath, he rested his forearms on his thighs and continued. “There needs to be something _more_ to make the character intriguing. A brilliant mind, a mysterious past, an element of danger…”

He chanced a glance at Garak, but the Cardassian’s bland smile was unchanged. A part of him wished this man who practically lived in subtext would understand the meaning of his words and make some sort of advance, to save Julian from tripping over his own tongue. With his heart racing this fast, he wasn’t sure his words wouldn’t fail him.

He wracked his brain for more adequate descriptors, pausing to contemplate in between every few phrases. “But there also needs to be a certain distinct charm, something that can inspire excitement and fear all at the same time... A look that can take your breath away and send chills down your spine.”

Garak just blinked. Damn the man! Was he going to have to spell it out?

With no help from Garak, he continued. “The character doesn’t even need to be what one would consider beautiful. That’s hardly what makes a character interesting, is it? A simple exterior that masks dimensions of knowledge and experience, passions and philosophies…” His gaze fell to his hands as he considered his next words. “An enigma, a character that makes you question everything you thought you knew, to dare to explore possibilities you had never even considered…”

Raising his gaze, he found Garak’s eyes fixed on him, shimmering in the dimly lit room. Something had definitely changed. The pleasant tailor façade had dropped…there was desire in those eyes. Julian couldn’t recall the last time he had seen such a gaze on him…it must have been years since Garak had been so overt. Perhaps it had been when he ran into Garak after a racquetball game with Miles, still in his silver jumpsuit. Ah, but that was hardly important now.

Swallowing, Julian held the Cardassian’s intense gaze for a moment before his own gaze wandered to Garak’s lips. “Well, at least that’s what I would like in a character,” he said, almost a whisper.

It was a sentiment worthy of a poorly written romance novel, but at the moment Julian could have sworn Garak had a gravitational field around his body that was pulling him in. Their faces were mere centimeters apart now…

Garak drew back, and the amiable tailor smile returned. “Perhaps you should write a novel, Doctor,” he suggested pleasantly. “You have your love interest, but who would your protagonist be?”

Julian almost growled in frustration. This game of theirs was growing incredibly tiresome. “Garak…” His tone had turned dark, almost a warning.

But Garak didn’t seem to notice. “Oh, do you have writer’s block, as you Humans call it?” he asked, tilting his head.

Julian just glared.

“Then allow me to help you. Perhaps your protagonist can be a…” He pulled a contemplative look, bringing his hand to his chin for added affect. “…young and energetic person. Optimistic and probably a little too idealistic for their own good, but talented and brilliant beyond their years. A character utterly tenacious in their compassion for others, almost to the point of being infuriating. A spark of life always shimmering in their eyes, a charming smile that could be said to brighten a room.” He paused for a moment, then continued in a softer tone. “Someone who makes the reader dare to hope that perhaps life isn’t entirely comprised of endless torment.”

The eyes that now gazed at Julian were filled with something new, something he had never seen in Garak before. Tenderness. And his voice had become infused with it too.

He could hardly breathe, but he didn’t dare look away and let this dream fade into oblivion. “Would such a character even grab the reader’s interest?” he asked softy, bumping Garak’s knee with his own.

“I believe it would.”

And now Garak’s gaze was on his lips. A shiver traveled down Julian’s spine as he observed that gaze with half-lidded eyes, feeling himself again drawn towards the enigmatic tailor.

He could feel Garak’s breath on his lips when the Cardassian again drew back, albeit only slightly.

“You know, Doctor, I’m afraid this lesson on Human acts of affection hasn’t been as enlightening as we had hoped.” Garak gestured to where the holographic couple was probably still kissing, but his eyes remained fixed on Julian. “I’m still a little unclear on the details. I think I might need a more _thorough_ demonstration if I am to understand this–”

“Damn it, Garak, do you ever stop talking?”

And then his lips were finally on Garak’s, and he couldn’t help but melt into the Cardassian’s encircling arms. The scent, the taste, the feeling, everything seemed foreign to him. Not at all how he had imagined it when he had allowed himself to dream, but how could you imagine something you had never experienced? His lips were cool to the touch and not as soft as Human lips, but softer than the delicately scaled cheeks Julian was now caressing. The texture was different as well, more…ah, what was the word?

But then Garak opened his mouth and Julian lost all desire for scientific analysis. As he was swept into a sensual duel of tongues, trying desperately to explore every centimeter of that mouth, he was more than a little surprised. This wasn’t the kiss of a beginner with clumsy clashes of teeth and awkward angles. Garak definitely knew what he was doing.

By the time they separated for air, Julian was surprised to find that he had somehow ended up in Garak’s lap. The holosuite suddenly seemed unbearably warm as he became aware of how close their bodies were pressed. Steadying himself with a breath, he extracted himself from Garak’s lap and sat back next to him, but this time he welcomed the contact of their thighs. For as long as he had secretly wanted this, he needed to savor it.

“You lied to me.” Julian tried to sound accusatory, but he knew the big goofy grin on his face wasn’t helping.

“Hm?” There was a tender smile on Garak’s face as he tried to scoop the doctor back into his lap, but Julian resisted.

“No one without previous experience has ever delivered a kiss like _that_ ,” he replied, still a little out of breath.

Garak’s pupils had expanded immensely, Julian realized, giving his eyes a black, shark-like appearance. It was strange that he had enough trust in the enigmatic Cardassian to not be alarmed by this.

“I simply had an excellent teacher,” Garak replied, his eyes glinting with desire, his voice uncharacteristically deep.

The next thing he knew, Julian was being guided down onto the couch, his head against the armrest, as Garak resumed his thorough exploration of one of Earth’s finest customs.

With eyes closed, chin tilted upward, and fingers threading themselves through Garak’s hair, Julian let out a disappointed groan when Garak ended the kiss.

“Perhaps we should continue our lessons somewhere a little more private.”

Julian opened his eyes to see Garak glancing at the holographic couple he had completely forgotten about. “My quarters then?” he suggested, his swollen lips parted in breathless anticipation. “There are some other Human practices I’m eager to teach you.”

His sultry tone earned him a bite on the lower lip before Garak pulled back and started easing him up into a seated position.

“Mm,” the tailor murmured, more than a little breathless himself. “And I think it only fair that I return the favor and introduce you to some equally stimulating Cardassian customs.”

“It would be my pleasure.”


End file.
